


Drunken Premonition

by Inmonitorlight



Series: Prince Charming and the Corporate Heir [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21555004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inmonitorlight/pseuds/Inmonitorlight
Summary: Seven and MC celebrate their marriage. Heartbroken, Zen finds comfort where he'd least expect it.Contains some spoilers for Seven's route and the secret ending.
Relationships: Han Jumin/Zen | Ryu Hyun
Series: Prince Charming and the Corporate Heir [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020018
Comments: 57
Kudos: 288





	1. Chapter 1

Out of all the members of the RFA, he would never have expected Seven - or rather; Saeyoung - to be the first to get married. He didn't begrudge him the happiness he'd found with his bride, not one bit, but it didn't prevent Zen's chest from tightening painfully each time he laid eyes on her. Despite having done everything he could to suppress his own feelings in order to be supportive of the happy couple, jealousy continued to eat away at him beneath the surface. 

It might have been easier to move on if he wasn't alone, but despite his efforts, he was still single. He hadn't even managed to find a date to bring to the wedding reception. How could someone so good looking have such poor luck with love? He downed another glass of champagne, not bothering to savor the taste. It wasn't particularly good anyway. Champagne never was.

"Don't you think you've had enough for one evening?" came a familiar voice beside him. He didn't have to look up to know it was Jumin; the last person he wanted to speak to right now. The last person he wanted to speak to in general. 

He frowned at the blur of empty champagne glasses assembled on the table in front of him, straining to focus. He hadn't had that many, or at least he couldn't remember having that many. "Lea' me alone," he grumbled, speech slurred.

"I'm about to head home," Jumin went on as if he hadn't heard him, "do you need a lift?"

"Takin' my bike" he replied, starting to push himself up. The far too heavily decorated venue swayed gently back and forth when he stood, or maybe that was just him. 

"I cannot let you drive a motorcycle in your condition," Jumin persisted.

What condition? Heartbroken? Zen scowled at him, only belatedly understanding that he was talking about the alcohol he'd consumed. He wasn't that drunk though. He could drive just fine. He took a step away from the chair and immediately tripped over his own feet, barely managing to regain his balance in time to avoid falling flat on his face. Shit, alright, maybe he was that drunk. 

"Fine," he allowed. He would have asked someone else to give him a ride instead, but it was getting late, and the number of remaining guests he trusted to drive him home safely was dwindling. 

"Good," Jumin said, using what the members of RFA had come to know as his business voice. It ticked Zen off even more than his usual manner of speaking. "I'll ensure your motorcycle is returned to you tomorrow. My driver should already be waiting outside, so let's say our goodbyes quickly."

His driver. Zen snorted softly to himself. As if being able to afford expensive cars wasn't enough without hiring someone to drive them for you as well. Was there anything Jumin didn't pay other people to do for him? It was hard to imagine him even tying his own shoelaces. 

Everything was swaying again as he followed him towards the newlywed couple. The two had changed their clothes after the ceremony. She was wearing Saeyoung's tuxedo from earlier, and he was wearing a wedding dress. Not her dress - but a cutesy knee length dress with a lace top and a tulle skirt. Bizarrely, it suited him, just like that damn maid costume had suited him. Normally he'd shy away from that thought, but at the moment it served to distract him from her smile. She had the kind of smile that could light up a room, and at the moment he wasn't sure he could look directly at her face without his eyes starting to water. 

"You're leaving already!?" Saeyoung cried, feigning tears of his own. He didn't often behave the way he did in the messenger, but he had been doing so all night, and honestly, who could blame him?

"I have work in the morning," Jumin responded, "and Zen is… what was the word again? Wasted?" 

That jerk. 

"Am not wasted," Zen protested, giving him a dirty look before turning back to point an accusing finger at the groom in bride's clothing "And Saeyoun'! It migh' be the nigh' of yer weddin', bu ye better be a gentleman to 'er, or else-!" 

"It's sweet of you to worry, Zen" came that cheerful voice he'd called her countless times to hear, "but I completely trust Saeyoung. He's harmless as a kitten."   
  


"Meow." Saeyoung contributed, and Zen wrinkled his nose as he felt it start to itch. He'd never quite understood that strange humor the two of them shared. Perhaps that was why he'd failed to connect with her the way Saeyoung did. 

"In thad case I'm leavin' befo' my a'ergy acts up" he huffed. He would have stomped off, but he was too dizzy to do anything but shamble towards the door.

To his surprise, Jumin went ahead to open it for him, though he doubted it was out of politeness. He was probably just showing off. ‘Look at me, with my perfect appearance and perfect manners, escorting the sad drunkard home.’ It didn't even end there. Jumin opened the door to the car for him as well, making a flourish and everything. What an ass.

Brushing past him, Zen slumped down in the luxurious leather seat. It was more comfortable than a car seat had any business being. He could probably have fallen asleep there if he wasn't so weary around this guy. He didn't trust that he wouldn't play some sort of prank on him if he dozed off. 

They spent most of the drive in silence aside from Jumin taking a few brief calls seemingly related to work. The man really had to live a busier life than he'd thought if he was expected to be available even at this hour. Zen didn't have much time to reflect upon it however as his stomach began to turn and a wave of nausea washed over him. Without warning, he lurched forward, vomiting back up what little solid food he'd eaten at the party. Just when he thought the night couldn't have had a more miserable end to it. He remained hunched over, the taste of bile sour in his mouth. "Fuck," he heaved, vision swimming as he looked at the mess he'd made of his shoes, of the floor of Jumin's car, "shit, shit, shit." 

He felt a soft touch between his shoulder blades and imagined for a moment that Jumin would shove him down and rub his nose in it like the sadist he obviously was beneath the polished exterior, but he merely rubbed his back as if trying to soothe a child. "Don't touch me," Zen wanted to growl, but all that came out was a meek sigh. It was actually making him feel better.

"We're here," Jumin announced unnecessarily when the car parked outside the apartment building. 

Zen made himself straighten up in his seat. He grudgingly turned to apologize and perhaps even thank Jumin, but the man in question was already exiting the car. Why was he getting out? He fumbled with the belt buckle, freeing himself and pushing the door open before it could be opened for him. "I don't need your help," he insisted, stumbling slightly as he stepped out, but managing to stay on his feet.

"You're a mess," Jumin replied, moving to shoulder his arm anyway, "you can barely even walk right now. If I don't help you, you're going to end up hurting yourself."

He was probably right, but Zen was still reluctant to let Jumin escort him. For starters, he didn't want him to see how he lived. Despite being partly underground, his apartment wasn't shoddy, but it wouldn't look like much for someone born with a silver spoon in his mouth 

\---

Although one could argue whether maintaining proper etiquette was required at this point, Jumin politely refrained from commenting on the foul stench of vomit and alcohol still clinging to Zen's breath. The scent of whichever cheap aftershave he was wearing did very little to mask it. If anything, it only made matters worse. Still, he’d decided to make sure he got home safe, and he never volunteered for a task without fully completing it. Unless it was more convenient to pass it on to Assistant Kang, of course. 

Zen continued to mumble something about being fine on his own, but he’d stopped trying to pull away and was leaning on him heavily. If he let him go at this point, he was going to fall. That might be amusing, now that he thought about it, but he wasn’t doing this to be amused. Zen was clearly in desperate need of support, and not just in a literal sense. It’d been plain to him for quite some time, but he’d mostly been able to ignore it until tonight. Instead of seeking the attention of every female guest the way he usually did, Zen had been keeping to himself after the ceremony, moping around and drinking non-stop. He would think an actor could control his emotions better, but he supposed this one had never been good at keeping his personal feelings in check despite his talent. Even Saeran, who had been more or less cranky the entire time since his recovery, had looked to be in a better mood. Jumin could swear he’d even seen the boy smile once or twice at his brother’s nonsensical jests. 

Reaching the end of the stairs leading down to the basement, he waited for Zen to finish rummaging for his keys and unlocking the door before he helped steady him as he stepped out of his ruined shoes and onto the hardwood floor. The apartment was smaller than Jumin had imagined, and the majority of the furniture looked like it’d seen better days, but what stood out to him the most was the lack of personal items. The place felt cold. Abandoned. Surely he could afford art to put on the walls at the very least? He would happily have donated something from one of Elizabeth The 3rd’s photoshoots to give it a brighter atmosphere, but he knew that would be to cast pearls before swine. Zen would likely claim it was setting off his allergies despite it being impossible to have an allergic reaction to a mere photograph of a cat, no matter how luscious her fur looked in it. 

He made for the sofa and had Zen sit down on it before he went to fill a glass of water in the kitchen area. Being able to locate things easily was one of the few advantages to living in such a small place, he supposed. “Drink this,” he said, holding the glass near Zen’s face until he took it, “You’ll be dehydrated in the morning otherwise.”

“Why’re you actin’ all caring?” Zen asked, watching him suspiciously over the rim of the glass, “you don’t even like me.” 

That made him give pause. True, they didn’t always get along, but they were friends, weren’t they? He would never say it in front of the other members of the RFA, but he’d always assumed Zen knew he valued his company. 

“What makes you think I don’t like you?” he asked, furrowing his brows in contemplation. What could he have done to give him that impression?

“Are you kiddin’? You always make fun of me and belittle me, and send me pictures of cats even tho-” Zen sniffed, grimacing as if holding back a sneeze, “even though you know I can’t stand ‘em.”

“None of that means I don’t care for you. I simply enjoy teasing you.”

“Why?”

Why? He should perhaps try to give an honest answer, but since they were already on the topic of teasing; he responded with the slightest hint of a smile, “Because I think your reactions are cute.”

“Gross.” Zen grumbled, “I don’t wanna hear that from a guy.”

“What difference does it make if a guy says it?” Jumin asked, unable to resist goading him on. 

Zen didn’t respond, chugging down the glass of water and setting it down near the edge of the coffee table, “Look, I’m fine now, so there’s no need for you to stay any longer.”

“Very well,” Jumin yielded gracefully, “have a good night, Zen.” 

Not expecting a reply, he made for the door. Hopefully Driver Kim would have had time to clean up the worst of the mess in the car by now. He was just heading outside when he heard Zen call for him.

“Jumin,”

He stopped to look over his shoulder at him. “Yes?”

“Thanks. I guess.”

It wasn’t much as far as signs of gratitude went, but it was enough to make the detour worth it. Perhaps he could afford to be nicer to him more often. If Zen was really under the impression he disliked him, he’d have to prove him wrong, if only for the sake of maintaining healthy relations within the RFA.

“Don’t mention it.”


	2. Chapter 2

_The bed wasn't his, but Zen felt at ease in it, typing away at his phone while his lover was busy getting dressed for work. He'd have to get up soon as well if he was going to make it to rehearsal for his new role in time, but right now he was too warm and comfortable to move. He looked up from the RFA messenger as his lover approached the bed, felt his heart give a flutter when Jumin leaned down to kiss him. It was brief, but not without passion, making him practically melt into the pillows he'd propped against the headboard._

_"Zen," Jumin murmured as he drew back, thumb caressing the corner of his lips._

_"What?" Zen murmured back, smiling into his touch._

_"I love you."_

He woke with a start, his pulse racing and his heart hammering. What was that? What the hell was that!? It'd felt similar to one of the psychic dreams he had from time to time, just a little too vivid to be an ordinary dream, except this one couldn't possibly be a glimpse of any conceivable future. There was no way Jumin would ever say those words to him, let alone kiss him. Not in a million years!

A nightmare. It had to be some kind of nightmare his brain had cooked up after he passed out last night. God. What was wrong with him? If he was going to dream about waking up in someone's bed, why did it have to be Jumin Han's? Why couldn't it belong to an attractive woman or at least a guy who was more his type? It wasn't like he'd never questioned his preferences before. There were a few guys he'd been curious enough about to consider experimenting with, but Jumin wasn't one of them.

He picked up his phone to check the time and squinted at it, the bright light from the screen making his head throb painfully. There was a notification icon from the RFA messenger. A text from Jumin. Speak of the devil…

"[How are you feeling?]" it read. He'd expected to be reprimanded, but this almost looked like genuine concern. He felt the ghost of Jumin's soothing touch on his back from last night, then shuddered as it overlapped with that gentle expression on his face from the dream. No. Things weren't meant to be like that between them. He'd prevented his premonitions from becoming true before, and he could do it again.

"[Stop acting like you care,]" he wrote back, "[it gives me the creeps.]"

With that sorted, he put his phone down and rolled over to curl up under the sheets. His head still hurt, and he wasn't ready to start his day anytime soon.

\---

Jumin wasn't surprised by Zen's response. He was usually irritable like that when he tried to be nice to him.

As he adjusted his tie in front of the mirror, he thought about the advice a certain someone had once given him. "Just imagine you're looking at a pretty cat when you talk to him."

He'd taken it to be a joke, naturally, but perhaps there was something to it. He moved to sit on the bed, running his fingers through Elizabeth The 3rd's white fur. "I wonder," he mused, "whether I could speak openly to Zen the way I speak to you. Unfortunately, I don't think he'd understand me if I did."

She stared up at him with her big, blue eyes the way she always did. There was no telling what she was thinking, but he let himself imagine. She was all he had left since V passed away. If he couldn't pretend she truly knew him, he would have to face the fact that nobody did. He wasn't sure he could bear that.

As if sensing the pain tightening in his chest, Elizabeth The 3rd let out what sounded like a chirp of concern.

"Are you worried about me?" he asked, allowing himself a moment of weakness as he leaned down to bury his face against her soft fur. It gave him a sense of comfort he'd never been able to find anywhere else. "I'm fine," he murmured, "It's only- at times like this I wish I could call V and ask him how to proceed, but that's no longer an option is it?"

He drew back and smoothed his hand over her side. There was a hint of wetness where his face had rested, and he mumbled a quiet apology to her before he stood. This wasn't the time to be melancholic. He had work to do.

He didn't check the RFA messenger again until lunchtime. Yoosung and both twins were online, Saeyoung making a series of grand announcements regarding his upcoming honeymoon with his wife. Jumin estimated about 30% of it to be true. Their plans to climb Mount Everest and going kayaking down the Niagara Falls were particularly unconvincing, but Yoosung seemed to believe every word.

"[Please leave already so I can have some peace and quiet,]" was Saeran's only contribution to the conversation.

Jumin knew there was fondness behind it. He would often speak sternly to those he was fond of himself. To believe he disliked him, Zen must have taken it seriously whenever he'd spoken to him that way.

He excused himself from the chat and slid into Zen's DMs, or at least he was fairly sure that was what young people called it when you sent someone a private message. "[Did your motorcycle arrive safely?]" he wrote. It should have been delivered about half an hour ago if there had been no unforeseen delays.

"[Yeah. It's been polished and everything,]" came the response a couple minutes later, "[You didn't need to go that far!]"

"[You seem unhappy lately. I thought it might cheer you up.]"

"[You could tell?]"

"[Of course.]"

"[So does this mean you really have been worried about me?]"

Jumin paused. He supposed he was worried. Bickering with Zen was among the few things that still managed to bring a smile to his face. He didn't wish to lose that. "[Perhaps,]" he replied.

"[Huh,]" Zen wrote back "[That's unexpected, coming from you,]" and then a few seconds later "[I'm fine though. Really.]"

\---

Having nearly recovered from his hangover after a quick walk and a shower, Zen scrolled back to read their texts a second, and then a third time. Part of him regretted giving Jumin the cold shoulder that morning. He seemed to actually be making an effort to be nice. Besides, if he was really as much of a heartless bastard as Zen's brother, he probably wouldn't even have noticed he wasn't feeling well. Perhaps he ought to stop comparing the two of them. He was already aware that it wasn't fair to direct his anger towards his brother at someone who wasn't the least bit responsible for the hurt and betrayal he'd experienced as a child, but Jumin had made it so easy the way he spoke as if he looked down on him.

Except he hadn't spoken that way last night. He'd looked surprised, and perhaps even a little hurt at the notion they disliked each other. Zen might have been slightly drunk at the time, but he clearly remembered the pang of guilt he'd felt seeing him like that. Maybe he should try to make it up to him.

The dream still bothered him, but it wasn't as if he had to be mean to keep that from happening in reality. He simply needed to avoid ending up in Jumin's bed. How hard could that possibly be?


	3. Chapter 3

"[Do you have time to meet up today? There's something I'd like to talk to you about in person.]"

Zen bit his lip, thumb hovering over the send button. He'd never been particularly good at swallowing his pride, especially when Jumin was involved, but it was time to bury the hatchet. At least until next time Jumin did something to really piss him off. He fought back his apprehension just long enough to hit send before placing his phone face-down on the kitchen table. 

It took several hours before he received a response. He'd settled on the couch to memorize the lines for his next theater performance and had almost forgotten about his phone until he heard the familiar ping of the RFA messenger. 

"[I was in a meeting. Give me an hour to wrap things up at work and I'll drop by your place.]" Jumin had written. 

He looked at the time. It was already 8:30pm. He'd been stuck in a meeting this late? He knew Jaehee was often working at this hour, but he'd figured Jumin went home earlier so he could spend time with the furball and do whatever else he did in his freetime. Swim in a pool of money like a cartoon billionaire perhaps. 

It was nearly 10pm when Jumin finally arrived at his apartment. Zen opened the door to find him carrying a large, panoramic canvas encased in bubble wrap.

"I brought this to make your place look nicer," he said, handing it over without ceremony, "It's one of V's photographs. His father passed some of his unsold exhibit pieces on to me, and I don't wish to have them stored away where nobody can see them." 

At a bit of a loss, Zen accepted the canvas print, carefully unwrapping it to take a proper look at the picture. It featured the ocean at sunset in brilliant shades of purple and red. Surprisingly beautiful for something Jumin had picked out, but then again he was sure there were no bad options among the pictures V had left behind. His chest felt a little tight at the thought. He'd never been that close with V, but his death had shocked him perhaps even more than the shock of learning Rika was still alive and operating outside the boundaries of the law. He couldn't pretend finding out about V's dishonesty hadn't hurt, but he still missed him.

Jumin had to miss him even more. It was a little difficult to imagine it, but he still didn't doubt it. Those two had been close friends since childhood, and Jumin really was only human despite popular belief. 

"I like it," he said, managing a smile, "thank you." 

Jumin didn't smile back, unemotional as always "What was it you wanted to discuss with me?" 

"Oh, right." 

\--- 

"I wanted to tell you I'm sorry."

An apology was perhaps the last thing Jumin expected Zen to offer him that evening. Having known him for half a decade, he'd gotten used to him being too stubborn to say he was sorry even at times when it was obvious he felt bad over a disagreement they'd had. 

"Why are you apologizing?" He asked, doing his best not to show that he was feeling quite smug about it. After all, he didn't want him to take it back. 

"Because I haven't really been fair or honest with you," Zen said, glancing at him sideways before looking back down at his hands. Due to a lack of options, they were both seated on the same white, faux leather sofa. Jumin on the far right end, leaning back with one leg crossed over the other - Zen on the far left, sitting hunched with his elbows resting on his knees. There would be a significant distance between them if not for the fact that this particular piece of furniture was a two-seater. 

"Ever since we first met," Zen went on after a long pause, "you've reminded me of someone who once hurt me, but lately I've started to realize you're not really like him. I guess what I'm trying to say is I've misjudged you." 

"People often do," Jumin found himself saying, "It's very rare for anyone to understand me." He didn't wish to think about how much that saddened him. Such thoughts were too exhausting after a long day at work. Fortunately, it was easy to distract himself when Zen was around. "So, since you're apologizing," he said, knowing exactly how to push his buttons, "does this mean you're finally willing to do the cat food commercial?" 

"Why, you-!" Zen began, his face turning red with anger.

"I'm joking," Jumin interrupted, unable to suppress his laughter.

That seemed to catch Zen off guard. The fury in his eyes was replaced with something akin to awe for an instant before his whole expression changed to what Jumin could only describe as disgruntled embarrassment. 

"I don't think I've ever heard you laugh before," he mumbled.

"Is that so?" 

He received only a small nod in response. He supposed nobody in the RFA would know he smiled from time to time when the two of them bickered on the messenger. Sometimes he shared the smiling version of the little "emoji" caricature Saeyoung had made of him, but apparently people who implied they were laughing in messages didn't always do so in real life. 

"There's uh.. another thing I wanted to talk about," Zen said, breaking his line of thought, "or well, something I want to ask. Those rumors about you. I never really believed them, but, Jumin, are you actually…" 

"Actually what?" Jumin asked, though he had some idea where this was going.

"You know. Do you like men?" 

That question again. He was growing tired of the speculations regarding his love life, or rather his lack of one. Was keeping to himself such a crime? Still, he was admittedly curious why Zen was bringing it up now. "Hm. Why are you asking me that?" he mused, "Could it be you're interested in me?" 

"No!" Zen protested, "I mean, I was only wondering. You never gave a real answer in the chat."

Jumin weighed his options. He could tell the truth, or he could turn the situation to his advantage and tease him. Or he could do both. 

"I'm not particularly attracted to men or to women," he explained, "but there are beings I find aesthetically pleasing to look at. Such as you, and Elizabeth The 3rd." 

"Why am I in the same category as a cat!?" Zen complained, taking the bait as usual.

"Well, not precisely the same category," Jumin continued, purposefully looking him up and down, "You're both beautiful, but she is a far more intelligent and complex being than you are." 

"What-!" 

"That was a joke. The difference is investing emotionally in Elizabeth The 3rd is guaranteed to be rewarding. If I were to let myself feel too strongly about someone human, I might be betrayed or abandoned. I don't wish to put myself in that position. Does that answer your question?"

Zen stared at him for a moment as if needing time to digest his words."I suppose," he finally muttered "But don't you get lonely?"

Desperately so, but there was a limit to how much he was willing to share. "Do you intend to do something about it if I am?" he countered, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Maybe?" Zen said, "After everything that's happened, especially with Rika and V, you must be hurting more than I am, and still you've tried to look after me. I'd like to support you too, if I can, though I'm not sure how I'd do that."

That was just as unexpected as the apology had been, although neither was really unwelcome. "I don't know about supporting me," Jumin responded, "but I no longer have someone I can drink wine with in the evening. Would you join me from time to time?"

Zen looked surprised again, then doubtful. "I wouldn't mind that, but what about the hairball?" 

“Don't call Elizabeth the 3rd that. I’ll have Assistant Kang look after her when you visit.” 

“Won't there still be fur everywhere?”

Jumin shrugged. “I’ll have the maid clean everything before you arrive.” He wasn't sure how she did it, but she could remove every trace of fur shed by Elizabeth the 3rd in less than an hour. Perhaps she used some kind of dark magic.

Zen was making the kind of face he'd usually make before lecturing him on being a spoiled, rich, brat, but he seemed to think better of it and offered a wry smile instead, “Alright. I prefer beer, but if it'll make you happy, I'll drink wine with you.”

"Then I look forward to it."


	4. Chapter 4

The first time he visited Jumin's penthouse apartment, it occurred to Zen that perhaps accepting an invitation to drink alcohol together in private wasn't the best strategy for avoiding someone's bedroom.

He'd been too calm in the dream for it to have been some drunken accident though, and he didn't think Jumin had invited him over to make a move on him. Would he even know how to do that? Jaehee had mentioned in chat that he could be charming when he really wanted to be, but Zen still had his doubts as he watched him over the rim of his glass. He was handsome, sure, but he had this detached look on his face as if nothing in the world could move him. He tried to picture him with a charming smile, but he just couldn't do it. Briefly, their eyes met, and Zen quickly shifted his attention back to the wine, taking another sip. It was fruity, but not too sweet, leaving a slightly sour yet pleasant aftertaste in his mouth. "This is actually pretty good," he murmured, "how much is it?"

"1500000 won," Jumin said like it was nothing, causing Zen to break into a coughing fit as he nearly choked on it.

"Is it really okay for me to drink this!?" He wheezed, frantically trying to calculate how much money went into the amount he'd already had that evening. "Shouldn't you be saving it for a really special occasion or something?"

"Isn't us getting along special enough?" Jumin asked, "Besides, I wanted to show you how superior good wine is to the cheap beer you drink"

"Even if I ended up liking this more, I'd never be able to afford it," Zen pointed out sullenly.

"It's fortunate I can afford it for you then," Jumin said, thinly veiled self-satisfaction seeping into his voice.

"I don't really like having someone spend money on me," Zen told him, still struggling to regain his composure. "It makes me feel like I owe you something."

"So you've told me several times already," Jumin said, swirling his half emptied glass, "but my willingness to spend money on you isn't because I want something in return. Initially I was simply offering it because V and Rika asked me to help you, but in time I grew to view everyone in the RFA as something like a second family. My father and I have always shown affection for each other through gifts. It feels natural for me to show affection for you through gifts as well."

"You feel affection for me?" Zen asked, having to avoid his gaze again as he felt his face heat up just a touch, "I should probably be grossed out, but I actually feel kinda happy hearing that." It was no lie. If there was one thing he really wanted in life; it was to be adored. He'd thought he'd never need or want that from Jumin, but evidently his ego must have desired it on some level. He felt good about being among the few people who mattered to him.

"If my affection makes you happy," Jumin put in smoothly, "you should stop rejecting it and accept it when I wish to spend money on you."

Zen sighed. Knowing it wasn't all about showing off made him feel a little less reluctant to accept gifts from Jumin, but he still didn't like it. Luxury was something he wanted to earn with his own money, with his own talent and hard work. "You know there's other ways to show affection, right?"

"There's only one other way I know," Jumin replied.

That piqued his interest, "And what's that?"

Jumin stood up from his chair and walked over to sit on the circular sofa bed beneath the television. Zen felt the hairs at the nape of his neck rise as he watched him pat the spot beside him. The dream about the two of them behaving like lovers flashed before his eyes, making his pulse race. No way. He stayed frozen in his seat, his mouth opening and closing several times as he tried to find the words to tell Jumin how much of an awful, terrible, disastrous idea it would be for the two of them to do- whatever it was he intended to do on that conspicuous piece of furniture. What kind of affection was it he wanted to show him? Did he plan on embracing him? Kissing him!? He couldn't possibly agree to that.

It'd been such a long time though. It felt like it'd been ages since the last time someone held him. And he'd been happy in that dream, hadn't he? They'd both been happy in it. It would probably never turn out that way, but maybe he could let Jumin close to him just this once, just to see if there was anything to it. If nothing else, maybe he'd feel a little less lonely.

He swallowed and pushed himself up from the chair, unsure if it was the wine or his nerves making his legs feel wobbly as he walked over to sit beside Jumin. "Alright," he said, trying to act like he was just mildly curious rather than caught somewhere between distress and desperation, "show me then."

Jumin shifted closer and began rubbing his back similarly to how he'd done in the car. At first, Zen thought it was to ease him into whatever came next, but he just kept at it, repeatedly stroking his back as if… as if-

"Jumin. Are you petting me?"

"Yes. What did you think I was going to do?"

It was absurd, and yet so typical of this damn brat of a spoiled company heir, Zen couldn't even get angry with him for it. He should have guessed he had no clue how to be affectionate with someone in a normal manner. It didn't feel bad though. It was comforting, somehow.

\---

He'd just been playing around.

At first, he had figured Zen would flush red and refuse to join him. When that didn't happen, he'd taken the jest further and given him the kind of affection he gave Elizabeth the 3rd. Being treated like a cat should have made him throw a fit. Except it didn't. He wasn't even telling him to stop.

Intrigued, Jumin continued to pet him, smoothing his palm over his upper back. He could feel the warmth of him through the thin fabric of the cotton sweater he was wearing, and some forgotten sense of longing stirred in the pit of his stomach. That didn't really surprise him. While Zen lacked certain qualities he valued in a partner, there were things about him he found very enticing. He liked his sincerity, his diligence, and his passion. He even liked his short temper, and the way he refused to be polite about it. People were so afraid to speak frankly to those with money and authority, but Zen was different. He never pretended to agree with Jumin's opinions if he didn't like them. He fought back. It meant he could trust that any signs of acceptance he offered were genuine. If he resented his touch right now, he would have pulled away immediately.

"Do you enjoy this?" he asked, not teasing. In truth, he was enjoying it as well. It wasn't really the same as petting Elizabeth the 3rd, but it had its own appeal. The expression on Zen's face in particular. He'd never seen him look this calm in his presence.

"It's kinda nice," Zen admitted, glancing at him from beneath those delicate, long lashes of his "Don't you dare tell anyone though."

"Nobody would believe me if I did."

\---

Zen wasn't sure when he'd dozed off, but when he opened his eyes he was resting his head against Jumin's shoulder. Embarrassed, he hurriedly pulled away, staggering back a few steps as he stood up.

"Sorry," he muttered, "I should go home."

"I'll let Driver Kim know," Jumin said, taking out his phone to make a call.

If Zen falling asleep on him had made him uncomfortable, he wasn't showing it. God, he hoped he hadn't snored or drooled on him or anything. "Make sure he gets home safely," he heard him tell Mr. Kim, and he couldn't decide if he should feel touched or annoyed by it. Was Jumin being a control freak as usual, or did he worry about him? Perhaps both.

They parted without him making any teasing remarks about the petting or how he'd fallen asleep from it, and Zen was grateful for that. He was grateful until later that night when a notification popped up on his phone while he was brushing his teeth. The photo Jumin had sent him was a little blurry, but there was no mistaking the features of Zen's own gorgeous sleeping face, half hidden against the nook of Jumin's shoulder.

"[You were cute tonight.]" Said the caption underneath it.

"[DELETE THAT!!!]" Zen demanded in all caps. Shit. If anyone saw-

"[I won't send it to anyone else.]"

"[Jumin I'll kill you I swear]"

"[Good night, Zen.]"


	5. Chapter 5

He had the same dream again that night, Jumin's love confession being the last thing he heard before he woke. Flustered, he rolled onto his side and put a hand over his mouth. He could almost still taste the kiss, feel the gentle brush of Jumin's thumb against his lips. He was even more certain it was a premonition now, and the worst part was he didn't completely hate the idea of it becoming reality.

He wanted to fall in love, and to have someone love him in return. It was something he'd wanted for a long time now. He just didn't get why it had to happen with Jumin Han of all people. Was he really that lonely? Was he so desperate for love he was willing to let himself fall for someone he'd disliked since the moment they first met? He supposed it was better than pining for someone who was married. His feelings for her hadn't magically vanished, but it didn't hurt nearly as much as it used to. 

He pushed himself out of bed and headed for the bathroom to shower and get dressed. After drying and brushing his hair, he leaned close to the mirror, carefully checking his face for signs of blemishes before performing his usual skincare routine. As soon as he was satisfied with his appearance, he reached for his phone to take a morning selfie. It'd been a while since he shared one with the RFA. 

He paused before opening the chatroom, noticing Jumin's name on the list along with Yoosung and Jaehee. He hadn't shared the photo from last night after all, had he? Entering the chat, he quickly scrolled to the start of the conversation to make sure of it. To his relief, Jumin hadn’t said much. Yoosung was mostly complaining about some LOLOL event he was missing out on while studying for exams. He'd been doing better in school ever since Zen convinced him to leave Rika to the Natural Therapy Alaska program. Jaehee must be thinking the same, as she was encouraging him to keep prioritizing his studies.

Scrolling back down, he posted his selfie before typing out "[Good morning~! I'm here to brighten your day with my dazzling looks.]" 

"[Thank you, Zen!]" came the immediate reply from Jaehee, "[My day is much brighter already just from seeing your photo.] [I hope you don't mind if I save it.]" 

That made him smile. He could always count on her to support him. "[You're welcome to!]" he replied. 

"[There is something I must take care of]" Jumin wrote, "[Excuse me.]"

He left the chatroom before any of them had a chance to say goodbye. 

Zen was used to being ignored by him from time to time, but it stung more than usual when he left without even acknowledging his presence first. Did he not like the picture? He'd called him beautiful the other day. He'd even compared him to the hairball, and as much as Zen disliked cats; he knew she was the embodiment of true beauty in Jumin's eyes. It was probably the biggest compliment anyone could ever hope to get from him, but maybe he hadn't actually meant it? 

He glanced back up at the mirror, trying to reassure himself his looks really were flawless. His phone buzzed, and when he looked down again, there was a notification informing him he'd received a PM from Jumin. Hadn't he said he was leaving?

"[Did it hurt?]" It read. 

Puzzled, he tapped on it to respond with "[Did what hurt?]" Not when he fell from heaven, right? 

"[When you fell from the vending machine.]" Jumin wrote, closely followed by, "[Because you look like a snack.]" 

Zen snorted, favoring him with a "[lolololol]" 

"[You're how I know it's true human beings are made of 50-65% water.]" Jumin went on, "[I feel thirsty when I look at you.]" 

"[Omg Jumin]"

"[I hope you know CPR.] [Because you take my breath away.]"

It was too much. He hit the call button and almost expected laughter on the other end, but Jumin sounded completely serious as he responded. "Yes?"

"Jumin," he said, making an effort to suppress the disbelieving smile tugging at his lips, "are you trying to flirt?" 

"Is it working?"

No. Absolutely not. 

"It's embarrassing," he told him, "Just speak frankly." 

He heard him clear his throat on the other end, and then "I've been thinking about you since I arrived at work this morning. I want to pet you again." 

Zen could have sworn he felt part of his soul threatening to leave his body. "Never mind," he said, "Don't speak frankly. That's even more embarrassing."

“Then come to my place this evening and we won’t need to talk.”

Zen nearly dropped his phone. Did he have any idea how suggestive that sounded!? What was the deal with the petting even? Was it some kind of weird fetish Jumin possessed? But it didn't really seem sexual last night. It was just… nice. Nearly everything about Jumin agitated him in one way or another, but his touch was calming. It made him feel cared for. 

"I don't know," he replied, genuinely unsure, "Isn't it a hassle for Jaehee to watch the furb- the cat." 

"That won't be an issue. I asked Saeran to look after her." 

That was unexpected. 

"Saeran?" He asked, "You trust him with her?" 

"He's much more responsible than Saeyoung," Jumin said, "and since the two of them are apart right now, I thought he might like some company." 

"Huh. That's actually kinda nice of you." 

Even back when he still despised him, Zen had recognized that Jumin could be surprisingly thoughtful at times, yet it never ceased to catch him off guard.

"Alright," he relented, "I'll come over. I've got rehearsal starting this afternoon. I'm not sure how long it'll be, but I'll let you know when I'm ready."


	6. Chapter 6

Behind every great man, is a great woman. 

If that saying was accurate, the woman who stood behind Jumin Han had to be Elizabeth the 3rd. She might be a cat, but she was there for him whenever he needed support, and she kept him sane whenever the tangled threads of past grief and frustration threatened to make him snap. 

Parting with her was never easy. There were people who claimed he didn't have a heart, but he could feel it break a little whenever he left her with someone else. This time was no different.

"Contact me immediately if anything happens," he told Saeran, reluctantly handing the carrier over to him while Driver Kim brought in Elizabeth the 3rds food, bed, litter box, and her favorite toys, "Make sure you feed her according to the schedule I emailed you." 

"Don't worry," Saeran said, gingerly accepting the carrier, "I'll take care of her."

The young man had changed quite a bit since the first time Jumin saw him. He was no longer malnourished, and his hair had grown out enough for its natural shade of red to fully replace the bleached sections. It made him look almost identical to his brother. The resemblance might have made Jumin wary of leaving his precious companion with him, but he had already seen Saeran interact with Elizabeth the 3rd enough times to know she liked him, and he trusted her sense of judgment.

On that note, he wished he could tell whether she liked Zen or not, but due to Zen's allergies he had never been able to convince him to spend any time with her. It was a shame. The two of them would look so elegant next to each other. 

Leaning down to peer into the carrier, he slowly blinked at Elizabeth the 3rd. It was apparently something cats did to make each other feel safe. She had to understand, because she returned the gesture as usual. "Be a good girl until I come back for you," he told her before straightening back up to address Saeran again, "I'll pick her up around 11pm. Don't forget-" 

"To call you if anything happens." Saeran finished the sentence for him, "I will." 

\---

He could tell Zen was tense as the two of them sat down on the daybed together that evening. Perhaps he was unsure of his intentions. In truth, Jumin wasn't entirely sure himself. He hadn't previously thought of Zen as a potential romantic partner, but now that the idea had entered his mind he couldn't seem to make it go away. It was the first time he'd had such foolish fantasies since back when he still had feelings for Rika. Pursuing her had never been an option of course, but nothing really stood in his way with Zen, aside from the risk of rejection. 

If not for that risk, he might have asked for something more than this. He might have moved closer and asked whether Zen would mind if he embraced him, but it was safer not to go there. He wouldn't have to worry about being turned down if he simply did what Zen had already allowed him to do. So he began to pet him. 

\---

Rehearsal had been rough. 

While he'd been ecstatic to land another lead role at the theatre; the amount of work it entailed was already wearing him down. Not only did it mean more lines to memorize, but it also meant more lyrics to practice, and more intricate choreography to nail. It was fun a lot of the time, but that didn't make it any less exhausting. 

And now, instead of heading home to rest like a sensible person, he was here letting a spoiled corporate heir pet him like he was some kind of… well, pet. 

It was so comforting though. He'd been nervous when he sat down, but after a couple of minutes he could feel his stress start to melt away. He found himself wondering whether it'd be weird if he asked for a massage instead. He could certainly use one, and it made more sense than petting, didn't it? 

"Jumin," he said, shifting to sit sideways with his back to him, "um, could you use both hands?"

"It's not like you to be greedy," Jumin practically rumbled at him. God, why did he have to sound so smug about it?

"I'm not," Zen replied, making an effort to control his temper, "It's just been a long day, and this is actually kinda relaxing." 

Jumin must have understood where he was going with it, because he scooted closer to rub his shoulders and upper back. Shutting his eyes, Zen let out a heavy sigh. Man, he'd needed this more than he thought. He treated himself to hiring a proper masseuse occasionally, and while Jumin wasn't using the same techniques as a professional, he was doing a surprisingly good job working out the knots of tension in his shoulder blades. A few times he even had to subdue the urge to groan at the sweet pain of having the soreness in his muscles tended to. 

"Have you taken classes on how to give massages or something?" He asked before he could stop himself. There was no way this guy would take any sort of class on how to help people, especially if it meant touching them, but then how the hell was he so good at this?

"No," Jumin responded, his voice as uncharacteristically soothing as his touch, "I'm simply applying pressure wherever I feel you leaning into it."

Zen opened his eyes, blinking in puzzlement, "Huh? I wasn't aware I was doing that."

"It's very subtle," Jumin said, "If you pay close attention when you pet a cat, they will guide your hand to where they want to be touched. As it turns out, it's the same thing with people. For instance-" he paused, rubbing a particularly sore spot close to his nape, "you tense up when I touch here, but you still press back against my fingers, so it's okay to pay attention to this area as long as I'm gentle." 

Zen felt his face heat up at his ridiculous explanation, though he wasn't sure why. Maybe because he would never have imagined someone like Jumin could read his body so easily. Was this how he would be like as a lover as well? Would he know exactly what he needed, and when, and where? Some of that heat burning in his cheeks began to sink lower, pooling in the pit of his stomach. A mortifyingly needy little noise escaped the back of his throat and he bit his lip, praying Jumin hadn't heard, but of course he'd heard because aside from the soft burbling of the fishtank there were no other sounds in the room. 

Still, Jumin didn't say anything. He stopped briefly as if considering it, then went back to massaging the same spot. Somehow, that made Zen feel more awkward than if he'd teased him about it. At least he would have had an excuse to get defensive if he did. 

"I should probably head home," he mumbled, glancing over his shoulder at him. At first he was sure it had to be some trick of the light, but Jumin was looking flustered, unwilling to quite meet his gaze. Curious, he turned around so he could see his expression clearly, but by then Jumin was already masking his moment of vulnerability by raising his chin to face him with the usual lack of emotion. At least that had to be what he was trying to do, but Zen was positive he saw his pupils dilate when their eyes met. Shit, that was a sign of attraction wasn't it? The kind even the most talented actors couldn't replicate at will. 

"Jumin," he began to say, leaning a little closer, tempted to seek out the taste and feel of him which he'd experienced twice now in his dreams. He was just about to toss caution aside and close the gap between them when the sudden blare of an alarm caused him to jump so bad he almost fell from his seat.

Jumin clicked his tongue in annoyance and fished out his phone from his pocket. The screen was flashing bright red as the device continued to blast what sounded like a cartoony police siren. 

"What the hell is that!?" Zen asked, his heart still in his throat. 

"Saeyoung," Jumin said, swiping a finger across the screen before answering what was evidently some kind of emergency call from the RFA app, "Yes?" 

"Juuumiiiin Haaaan! how could youuu!?" Zen could faintly hear Saeyoung wailing on the other end. 

"What is it?" Jumin asked absently, examining his nails as if Saeyoung calling him in distress was an everyday occurrence. Maybe it was.

"Elly! Ellyyy!" the wails continued, "How could you send her to my place when I'm not home!?" 

Zen felt his nose start to itch. 

"Her name is Elizabeth the 3rd. Your brother is watching her for me." 

"Saeran!? Saeran gets to babysit Elly when I don't!? I offered so many times, Jumin! Why won't you ever let me show Elly my love!?"

"ACHOO!" Zen sneezed loudly, covering his face far too late to muffle the noise. 

Jumin gave him a blank look, and they stared at each other in silence while Saeyoung's tone of voice made the change from utter despair to mild suspicion. "What was that?" 

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with," Jumin told him, "Now please excuse me." 

He hung up without waiting for a response. 

"Sorry," Zen sniveled, rubbing his nose. 

"Don't worry about it," Jumin assured him, "I should be leaving to pick her up soon. I'll escort you downstairs." 

Zen would have been disappointed, but he didn't really feel like trying to continue where they'd left off at this point. If he was going to kiss someone, he didn't want to do it while he had a runny nose. Dammit. He wished he could yell at Saeyoung for managing to get in the way of his love life even while halfway across the globe, but he didn't dare think about how he might react if he learned what he'd just interrupted. Good Lord, he'd never hear the end of it.


	7. Chapter 7

There were two missed calls from Yoosung when Zen came back from a run the following morning. He would have liked to head straight for the shower, but he knew how anxious the kid got if he made him wait too long. Sighing, he called him back, wiping his damp forehead with the back of his hand as he waited for him to pick up.

He didn't wait long.

"Zen!" Yoosung answered on the second beep.

"Hey, Yoosung. What's up?"

"I got the letter!"

He furrowed his brows, trying to remember whether he'd mentioned anything about a letter recently. Perhaps something he'd talked about in the chat. Admittedly, Zen didn't always pay attention when the topic wasn't related to him.

"Which letter?"

"From Natural Therapy Alaska," Yoosung replied, sounding exasperated, "They said they'd send a letter about Rika's progress once a year, remember?"

"Oh," Zen said, perking up, "what does it say?"

"I didn't open it yet," Yoosung admitted, "I'm kinda nervous. I wanted to ask if we can open it together."

He guessed he couldn't blame him for being afraid to open it alone. It'd been so long since they heard anything new about Rika, and it was probably going to break Yoosung's heart if after all this time it turned out she'd made zero progress. "Sure," he said, "I'm about to take a shower, but if you come over in half an hour or so we should have time to read it together before I leave for practice."

He found a message from Jumin waiting for him after ending the call, and his heart began pounding as he read it.

"[There is something I wanted to ask you. About last night.]"

Another message followed it before he had the chance to reply.

"[Before Saeyoung called; were you going to kiss me?]"

Shit. He'd thought he hadn't realized. He could feel himself start to break into a sweat; as if he hadn't already sweated enough during his workout.

"[I think so.]" He typed out, hitting send before he could change his mind. Too flustered to deal with whatever Jumin might respond, he put his phone down and went to take that shower. He better make it a cold one.

\---

He was in the middle of getting dressed when he heard the chime of the doorbell. Yoosung was there already? He was fairly sure he hadn't spent more than ten minutes in the shower. The kid must have rushed there right away instead of waiting like he'd asked him to. How typical. He buttoned his pants and pulled on a plain t-shirt before he left the bathroom to open the door.

The person waiting on the other side of it wasn't Yoosung.

"Weren't you at work?" he asked, unable to keep from staring at the sharply dressed businessman in front of him. Had he always been this handsome?

Jumin didn't answer, taking a step forward to press their lips together without warning. Caught off guard, Zen thought of pulling back, but curiosity and longing kept him from moving. He'd been wanting this.

Jumin wasn't a great kisser like he'd been in the dream. His lack of experience was painfully obvious from how firm and unyielding his lips were against Zen’s, but honestly it was fine. Nobody could be perfect without practice. Pulling him closer by the lapels of his jacket, Zen began slowly coaxing him into softening up. He'd expected him to be stubborn about it, but Jumin didn't resist at all, allowing him to take charge of the kiss.

He was just starting to get really into it when they were both startled by a horrified scream from somewhere near the top of the stairs. Zen pushed Jumin back and looked up, catching a glimpse of a blond kid running from the scene. By the time Jumin turned to look, he was already gone.

"Was that… Yoosung?" Zen wheezed, panic hitting him like a punch to the gut, "Shit shitshitshit what do we do!?"

He didn't want the other members of the RFA to know, hell, he didn't want anyone to know he was getting intimate with Jumin. The embarrassment would be too much to bear.

"I have to return to work," Jumin said, infuriatingly calm about getting caught, "I'll call him on my way there and make sure he stays quiet about what he just saw."

Normally Zen would have disliked the implication that Jumin might be planning to threaten Yoosung into silence, but this was a matter of life and death… for his reputation at least. Swallowing anxiously, he nodded. "Please do."

\---

**RFA Chat history. March 26th 20xx**

_Yoosung★ has entered the chatroom._

**Yoosung★**  
[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHH!!!!+!!@]

_Yoosung★ has left the chatroom._

_Jumin Han has entered the chatroom._

_Yoosung★ has entered the chatroom._

**Jumin Han**  
[You didn't answer my call.]

 **Yoosung★**  
[Jumin!!! How could you do that to Zen!?!? T_T]

 **Jumin Han**  
[?]

 **Jumin Han**  
[I have not done anything Zen didn't wish for me to do.]

 **Yoosung★**  
[I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!]

_ZEN has entered the chatroom._

**ZEN**  
[YOOSUNG!!]

 **ZEN**  
[Don't you dare say another word!!!]

 **Jumin Han**  
[I too would appreciate if you respect our privacy.]

 **Yoosung★**  
[We promised to keep no more secrets in the RFA!]

 **Jumin Han**  
[This is a personal matter between Zen and I. It is not related to the RFA]

 **ZEN**  
[Both of you stop talking about this here!]

_Mr.Choi has entered the chatroom._

**Yoosung★**  
[Seven!? Is that you??]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[Yoooooo]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[Agent 707 here! Reporting live from the arms of an angel!]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[Honeymoon update incoming in 1…]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[2…]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[Huh!?]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[Jumin did something to Zen!?]

 **ZEN**  
[NO.]

 **Jumin Han**  
[None of your business.]

 **Yoosung★**  
[Seven T_T]

 **Yoosung★**  
[I was going to visit Zen's place and I saw them T_T]

 **ZEN**  
[STOP!!!]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[???]

 **Yoosung★**  
[THEY WERE MAKING OUT T_T]

 **Jumin Han**  
[...]

 **ZEN**  
[YOOSUNG I'M GOING TO KILL YOU]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[LOLOLOL]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[Wait really?]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[A secret relationship between prince charming and the ice King!? Omg My heart is racing.]

 **Jumin Han**  
[Ice king?]

 **ZEN**  
[Why is that the part you're getting hung up on?]

 **ZEN**  
[Dammit Yoosung I told you not to say anything!]

 **Yoosung★**  
[I'M SORRY! I'm still in shock! I think I need to go lie down D;]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[So the truth is finally out]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[Jumin Han...]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[DOES is gay!? OAO]

 **ZEN**  
[He's not gay.]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[You both have my full support of course. And my darling's support! And all my babes at home TuT <3333]

 **Jumin Han**  
[You're saying your cars support us?]

 **ZEN**  
[Jumin! stop focusing on the wrong thing!!]

_Mrs.Choi has entered the chatroom._

**Mrs.Choi**  
[Zen, Jumin. I'm so happy you two are finally dating. Congratulations!]

 **ZEN**  
[What do you mean by finally!?]

 **ZEN**  
[And we're not dating!]

 **Jumin Han**  
[Not yet.]

 **ZEN**  
[Don't say that here!]

 **Mr.Choi**  
[Ooooh! Honey, when we get back let's go on a double date with them =u=]

 **Mrs.Choi**  
[Hmm. It seems we've been jumping to conclusions. Let's not push them.]

_Saeran has entered the chatroom._

**Saeran**  
[So this is why you had me watch your cat. Honestly I'm not surprised.]

 **ZEN**  
[WHY ARE YOU NOT SURPRISED!?]

_Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom._

**Jaehee Kang**  
[Oh. Everyone is here?]

 **Jaehee Kang**  
[Huh?]

 **Jaehee Kang**  
[...]

 **Jaehee Kang**  
[..........]

 **Jaehee Kang**  
[Mr. Han.]

 **Jumin Han**  
[Assistant Kang.]

 **Jaehee Kang**  
[MR. HAN.]

 **ZEN**  
[;;;;;]

 **Jaehee Kang**  
[How did this happen- No, that's not important. What were you thinking!? Do you realize the kind of damage this could cause for Zen's career!?]

 **Mrs.Choi**  
[Jaehee, it's okay.]

 **Jaehee Kang**  
[No. You don't understand. This could become a huge scandal in the media.]

 **ZEN**  
[Jaehee is right. My fans might not take it very well;;]

 **Jaehee Kang**  
[Mr.Han. Your reputation is at stake too. This will be a big problem for C&R if it comes out.]

 **Jumin Han**  
[I don't care if it affects my reputation.]

 **ZEN**  
[Jumin…]

 **ZEN**  
[Everyone. Let's keep this a secret outside the RFA. Honestly it already feels weird for me that all of you know about this when I'm not even used to the idea myself yet]

 **Jumin Han**  
[I agree. I'm still not sure about my feelings either.]

 **Jumin Han**  
[But Zen,]

 **Jumin Han**  
[Being close to you like this makes me happy. I want to figure things out together without anyone interfering. Let's ignore what the rest of the world might think for now and focus on each other.]

_Jumin Han has left the chatroom._

**Yoosung★**  
[Wow…]

 **Yoosung★**  
[Is it just me or was that kinda romantic? >////<]

 **ZEN**  
[ACK]

 **ZEN**  
[I'm so embarrassed;;]

 **ZEN**  
[But that really was kinda romantic;;;]

 **Mrs.Choi**  
[It was. I hope things turn out well for you two. Cheer up, Zen :)]

_Mrs.Choi has left the chatroom._

**Mr.Choi**  
[Aaa I'm so jealous. Zen you're gonna be Elly's stepdad ;O;]

 **ZEN**  
[Fuck off!]

_Mr.Choi has left the chatroom._

**Saeran**  
[Hm. It seems Jumin is really serious about you. Tell him I'll watch the cat again if your allergies get in the way.]

_Saeran has left the chatroom._

**Jaehee Kang**  
[I still don't know how to process all of this.]

 **Jaehee Kang**  
[I'm worried what the consequences might be. But if you really like Mr. Han that way… well, I can't claim I understand your tastes, but I hope he treats you nicely, Zen.]

 **ZEN**  
[Haha…]

 **ZEN**  
[I can't even understand my own tastes right now. I feel like I've gone insane or something. But thank you. I appreciate it.]

 **Jaehee Kang**  
[Then I'll see you later. Please be careful.]

_Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom._

**Yoosung★**  
[Zen. I'm sorry… it's my fault everyone found out before you wanted them to.]

 **ZEN**  
[Don't get me wrong. I'm still mad at you. But… I'm surprised everyone is being supportive. I thought you would all make fun of me for falling for that jerk.]

 **Yoosung★**  
[You still think Jumin is a jerk?]

 **ZEN**  
[Sometimes. But he's not a bad person. I feel good knowing he's happy because of me.]

 **Yoosung★**  
[I was really shocked, but I want to support you guys too.]

 **ZEN**  
[Thanks.]

 **ZEN**  
[Let's read the letter when I get back from rehearsal.]

 **Yoosung★**  
[Ok :')]

 **ZEN**  
[:')]

_Yoosung★ has left the chatroom._  
_ZEN has left the chatroom._


	8. Chapter 8

_Whichever way he turned, there was an endless, dark space surrounding him. The only tangible thing in the void was the solid surface beneath his feet, dimly illuminated by distant points of light from above. They might have been stars, but he wasn't entirely sure he was outdoors._

_He began to wander, looking for signs of life, a landmark, a way out, anything at all. It felt like he's been walking for hours when he spotted a bright light in the distance. Hopeful, he sprinted towards it, only to slow when he noticed a man standing in front of the source of it with his back to him._

_"Hey!" He called out, apprehensive, yet too desperate for answers to keep silent. The man turned around, and Zen froze when he saw his face. He was exceptionally beautiful, with pale skin and long, white hair tied in a ponytail. It was him._

_"There you are," the other Zen said, inclining his head towards the light, "You almost lost your chance to see their faces one last time." There was something uncanny about his movements. They were too fluid, like something from an animated movie with an excessively high frame rate. He knew his own mannerisms; how he moved even while acting, and this wasn't it._

_Zen looked at the light source. It was a large, glass window. Beyond it he could see the interior of his own apartment. The members of the RFA were gathered there, Jaehee placing a cake with candles on his coffee table while the others brought in presents and balloons. Right, it was his birthday. He wanted to ask his copy what he was talking about, but he found himself running towards his friends instead, calling out to them._

_They didn't seem to hear him._

_"What is this?" He asked, a cold shudder running down his spine when he turned to find his copy standing right behind him. When had he moved? "What's going on?"_

_"You're being replaced," said the copy, "I'll take over from now on. Don't worry though. Your friends won't miss you. They won't be able to tell anything has changed."_

_"What?" Zen asked, dumbfounded._

_His copy walked up to the window, then stepped through to the other side. Thinking he could do the same, Zen ran after him, only to slam his head against a solid glass surface. Dazed, he watched the RFA greet the other Zen as if it was him._

_"Wait! No," he protested, knocking at the glass with his fists, "that's not me! I'm here! Can't you see I'm right here!?"_

_Still, nobody heard him, and to his horror, the image of the RFA happily gathering around his copy was starting to fade back into the darkness. Panicking, he beat at the glass more frantically, crying out as loud as his voice would go "Come back! Don't leave me here!"_

_"Zen."_

_He looked up at the familiar voice, his heart leaping despite the weight of his despair. Jumin had separated from the rest of the group and returned to the window._

_"Jumin," Zen cried, "you can hear me? Please tell me you can hear me."_

_"I can hear you," Jumin said, placing both palms on the surface of the glass, "but I'm afraid the others can't."_

_Zen mirrored him, standing palm to palm despite being unable to actually feel his touch, "How do I get out of here? How do I get to where you are?"_

_"You can't," Jumin told him, "but I believe I can come to you."_

_"Jumin, wait-" Zen began to say, but Jumin was already moving towards him, interlocking their fingers as he stepped through the glass like it was nothing. A turmoil of emotions rushed through him all at once. Relief, guilt, dread. What if Jumin couldn't go back either? Would they both be trapped here? He felt faint, his vision blurring as his eyes fell shut against his will._

\---

He woke on the sofa with his phone still loosely grasped in his hand. He must have fallen asleep waiting for midnight. Yawning, he checked the time. 11:50 pm. Thank God. He hadn't missed it. For most people, tonight was the night before April Fools, but the date had a different significance to Zen. It would be his 25th birthday.

He always made sure to log into the RFA app right before midnight to receive birthday greetings from the others, and this year he was looking forward to it even more than usual. This year, he would be congratulated by someone he was dating. Almost dating, anyway.

Nearly a week had passed since he and Jumin got caught kissing. Since then, they'd been keeping closely in touch, texting and calling each other several times a day. Zen hadn't expected himself to develop a crush, but it hadn't taken long before he began to feel giddy whenever Jumin took time out of his busy schedule to talk to him. He hoped he was still awake.

It looked like the RFA app had logged him out during his accidental nap, so he opened it to log back in, but instead of the main menu he was transferred directly to a chatroom with an odd design. He entered a series of question marks, then frowned when his username came up as "Unknown" with a blank avatar. Was Saeyoung playing a prank on him?

He was thinking of calling him to ask, when someone else entered the chatroom. Someone with the username "ZEN". They even had one of his selfies as their avatar.

He pictured his clone from the dream and shuddered involuntarily. It was probably some stupid prank, but it was creeping him out.

"[What the hell!?]" He wrote, "[Give me my name back!]"

"[It wouldn't matter if I did.]" Came the reply, "[Your account will be blocked in 30 seconds.] [He should be there any moment now] [So I'll leave the explanation to him]"

"[What???]"

His eyes went wide as a countdown appeared on the screen. He frantically looked for a way to cancel it, but it was already down to 3...2...1…

The chat turned dark, displaying only "Access denied" in bold letters. He didn't really have time to react before the doorbell rang, making him sit up with a jolt. Who could it possibly be this late? It was already midnight by now. Suppressing the urge to pretend he wasn't home, he got up and walked to the door. He hesitated for a few seconds before opening it, afraid it was someone looking to frighten him. Because of April Fools, he never got to celebrate his birthday without spending most of it as the unwilling target of other people's mischief.

Bracing himself, he opened the door.

The first thing he saw was roses. A huge bouquet of red roses in full bloom. Jumin was holding it out towards him, a faint, but genuine smile on his lips. "Happy Birthday, Zen." He said, waiting for him to accept the bouquet before he went on, "I would have waited until tomorrow morning, but I knew you would be awake, and I didn't want you to panic when my plans were set into motion."

Zen was too dumbfounded to thank him for the roses. His plans? Did he mean what was happening in the RFA messenger? "Jumin, what is going on?"

"It seems you're already worried. Then allow me to explain. Every year, Saeyoung goes out of his way to trick you. This year, I've asked Saeran to masquerade as you to make him believe whichever ploy he has prepared is effective. Nobody will know you're actually away from the chat until tomorrow evening. Of course, I'll pass their congratulations on to you so you don't miss out."

Zen took a moment to digest his words. So the other Zen had been Saeran, and he'd blocked him on Jumin's request. "But why are you doing all this?" He asked, still confused, and a little annoyed at being cut off from the others even if Saeyoung deserved having his pranks sabotaged.

"You always say that since you were born on April 1st, you never get to enjoy a normal birthday without falling victim to people's pranks," Jumin said, "I decided to protect you by making Saeyoung the butt of his own joke. In addition, I've posted bodyguards outside to put a stop to any suspicious activity around your apartment. They'll remain until tomorrow evening when we gather to celebrate your birthday properly. In the meantime I'll do anything in my power to ensure you have the kind of birthday you always wanted. That is my gift for you this year. Honestly, I wanted to buy you something expensive, but you don't care for that sort of thing, so I'm attempting to give a gift from the heart."

He didn't know what to say. He didn't entirely approve of the methods being used, but he could see the sentiment behind it all. Jumin had taken an impossible wish of his and was trying to make it come true. A gift from the heart. It sounded cheesy as hell, yet he was so moved by it he had to fight the urge to break into tears. Nobody had ever put this much thought or effort into a gift for him before. "Thank you," he said, wrapping his arms around Jumin to hug him as tightly as he dared without crumpling the roses. He felt Jumin's place a hand on his back, and thought he was going to pat him awkwardly the way guys did when they felt it was time to pull apart, but he merely held it there, cautiously embracing him in return. Relieved, Zen smiled and nestled his face in the nook of his shoulder, breathing in the scent of the rich, earthy cologne he wore. He'd previously thought of asking him which brand it was, because he was starting to really like it, but he'd figured it would be something wildly expensive.

"I wasn't able to take all day off tomorrow," Jumin told him, "but I'll come see you as soon as I can."

"You could spend the night," Zen murmured before quickly amending himself when he felt him go tense in his arms, "Just to sleep next to me. I'll control myself, I promise." He pulled back to look him in the eyes, wanting him to know he was being sincere despite the joking tone he'd used.

It was difficult to work out how Jumin felt about the suggestion just from looking at his face, but he seemed to be considering it, his brows furrowed as if he was lost in thought.

"I don't really like leaving Elizabeth the 3rd alone at night," he said after a long moment of silence.

Zen had to resist rolling his eyes at him. That furball. She was going to keep complicating things, wasn't she? If only he hadn't been so allergic.

"However," Jumin continued, his voice dropping to that playful rumble Zen had been hearing from him a lot these past few days, "I did make sure she's got everything she needs before I left. If you don't mind me leaving early in the morning to check on her, I accept your invitation to spend the night here."

He'd never had a thing for deep voices before, yet he experienced a small flutter of excitement in his chest whenever Jumin went that low. Was he aware of how erotic it sounded? Perhaps controlling himself wasn't going to be as easy as he'd thought. Hopefully Jumin didn't try anything funny either, because he might not be able to resist giving in to it if he did.

It was probably a good thing that what Jumin said next wasn't sexy at all.

"Do you have an extra pair of pajamas?"

Zen gave him a sheepish smile, "I don't really use those. You can borrow a shirt if you want."

"Isn't that a couples thing?" Jumin asked, "wearing each other's clothes."

It was impossible to tell if it was another attempt at flirting or if he simply didn't know.

"Well, yeah," Zen said, trying not to look as flustered as he felt, "but so is spending the night."


	9. Chapter 9

Jumin felt slightly exposed as he exited the bathroom wearing only his boxer briefs under the plain white t-shirt Zen had made him borrow. Was this really appropriate sleepwear for sharing a bed with someone for the first time? 

He stopped in the doorway when he reached the bedroom, finding Zen already sitting propped up in bed, shirtless and presumably not wearing pants under the covers. Ah, right. He'd almost forgotten the man had no shame. No need to worry about modesty. 

"What?" Zen asked, looking up from his phone to raise an eyebrow at him "you nervous about sharing a bed with a guy?" 

Jumin would have told him it didn't have anything to do with gender, but he knew that would lead to questions he'd rather not answer. Not now, at least. "I'm not nervous," he told him instead, moving to sit on the unoccupied side of the bed, "Are you?"

"Well, yeah… kinda," Zen admitted, putting his phone down, "I've never been close with a guy this way, and honestly the idea of it used to scare me a bit. It's - it's not what's expected of a man, you know?" 

Jumin shouldn't have been surprised by the confession. He'd seen him express similar thoughts in the chat, but he hadn't taken it very seriously. Scoffing at ideas that weren't traditionally masculine had just been another of those mildly annoying things Zen did from time to time.

"Are you that worried about what others expect of you?" He asked, moving to settle next to him under the covers. He felt oddly calm about it by then, perhaps because his focus had shifted to Zen's concerns instead of his own. 

"Some things more than others," Zen said, moving his pillow back down from where it was leaning against the headboard before rolling onto his side to face him, "I don't mind that I'm considered more pretty than handsome, or that I sometimes have to play feminine guys on stage. I even played some female roles when I was younger and I had fun doing it, but all of that is just part of being an actor, you know? It's considered brave to break the norm on stage. When you do it in real life however, people aren't as likely to accept you. If I had to kiss a guy on stage in front of a big crowd I don't think I'd be afraid to do it at all, but when Yoosung saw me with you I almost felt like my life was gonna end." 

"I see," Jumin said quietly. He couldn't fully relate, but he understood the fear of rejection. Most people would never be close enough to him for their disapproval to hurt his feelings, but Zen was much more sensitive in that regard. Even a rejection from a complete stranger would have an impact. "For me," he told him, "the only acceptance I need regarding our relationship is yours." 

"I know" Zen said, his lips curling into a hint of a smile "It's why I don't feel so weird about asking you to stay with me tonight. It pisses me off sometimes the way you don't care what people think, but it's making all of this a lot less scary." 

Jumin felt a peculiar kind of tightness form in his chest then. He'd always been protective of everyone in the RFA, especially after he took over V's responsibilities as their leader, but this was the first time he experienced the urge to express it by holding one of them in his arms. 

"Come here," he said, perhaps a little more commanding than intended. 

Zen seemed reluctant for an instant, then moved close to settle in the crook of his arm, resting his head on Jumin's chest with a sigh.

Somehow he'd expected him to be cold. He bragged so often about his statue-esque physique, and in the dim light his skin really did look like marble, but he felt warm against his side. It was comforting. That probably shouldn't surprise him, but he'd never done this thing which people referred to as "cuddling" before. Normally he didn't even like being touched, but it was different with Zen. Perhaps because he wasn't worried about him having some ulterior motive; he felt comfortable being near him. 

They were both silent for a while, until he heard him let out a small whine, not too different from the sounds he made sometimes when he rubbed his back. "What is it?" He asked, trying not to sound too amused.

"My heart is beating really fast," Zen mumbled, "It's embarrassing." 

"That's cute."

"Shut up."

He expected him to pull away, but Zen huddled closer instead, grumbling something Jumin couldn't quite make out. What was the word Saeyoung used for this kind of self-contradictory behavior again? Tsundere? He smiled at the thought. Sullen, but affectionate. It suited him.

His arm was starting to go numb by the time Zen fell asleep, but he didn't really want to move. With cats, you should feel honored if one fell asleep on you, and although Zen wasn't a cat, it seemed appropriate to value the moment all the same. 

A man was much heavier than a cat however, and eventually he had no choice but to work his arm free before it began turning purple. He moved slowly, careful not to disturb Zen's sleep. At one point he thought he'd woken him when he heard him start to mumble something, but he soon fell quiet again. Relieved, Jumin settled back down beside him, letting the sound of his steady breathing lull him to sleep. 

\---

Zen couldn't remember dreaming that night. He woke up to find Jumin dozing next to him with a peaceful look on his face. That was something he'd never thought he'd see. Partly because he already knew that between the two of them; Jumin was the one who required less sleep.

Curious, he propped himself up on his elbow to watch him. He was handsome. Not as handsome as he himself was of course, but close. He had really nice skin too. No dark spots or redness even if Zen doubted he wore any concealing creams or used face masks. Lucky bastard.

As if sensing his gaze, Jumin opened his eyes, blinking a couple of times before squinting up at him through dark lashes. He'd seen him tired before, but not sluggish and disheveled like this. There was something endearing about it. The oh-so-proper businessman waking up with bed hair and sleep-clouded eyes. 

Leaning over, Zen placed a soft kiss on his lips, keeping it chaste to avoid any unpleasant exchange of morning breath. 

"I thought you said you'd control yourself" Jumin murmured, obviously teasing. 

"Trust me, I am," Zen replied, grinning as he teased back, "If I wasn't, I might jump on top of you right now." 

"Hm," Jumin mused, looking like he was seriously considering it, "I don't think I'd mind too much if you did."

Zen could feel his face heat up. He already knew it was bound to happen at some point, and that someday when they woke up together like this, Jumin would tell him he loved him. The thought of it had terrified him at first, but now… God, he was seriously starting to want it, wasn't he? 

\---

It was fascinating how Zen's skin reddened all the way down to his chest when he blushed. Jumin wondered whether that was common in people with albinism. Mesmerized, he reached up to touch his neck, feeling the warmth there. The touch must have tickled, because Zen shied away from it. It tickled, or perhaps his neck was just sensitive. He wanted to find out, but now wasn't the time. 

"I should get going so I have time to check on Elizabeth the 3rd before work," he said, sitting up. 

"Can we check the chat on your phone first?" Zen asked, reminding him that neither of them had looked at it since last night. 

“Sure.”

He opened the RFA app and entered the chat.

“[Jumin!]” Yoosung greeted immediately, “[Have you heard from Zen?] [I thought he would be on last night, but he hasn't been around since yesterday morning!]” 

“Didn’t you say Saeran would be logged in as me?” Zen asked, peering over his shoulder. 

As if to answer his question, an alert about a text message from Saeran popped up. Then a second, and a third message. He tapped on the notification to find screenshots of what appeared to be a conversation between himself and Zen, although it wasn’t one he could remember having. 

“[He’s moved us to a duplicate of the app],” Saeran explained beneath the images, “[Now he’s pretending to be you. He still believes I’m Zen.]”

“Let me see,” Zen demanded, snatching the phone from his hand to scroll through the screenshots. Apparently Saeyoung was using the fake Jumin account to share pictures of cat ear headbands with matching tails and collars, asking which one Zen would prefer as his birthday gift. 

“That bastard.” 

“Those are too tacky for my tastes,” Jumin put in, “if I was buying cat ears for you, I would have them custom-made by a professional costume designer to make them look realistic. Those colors wouldn’t do either. They would have to be white, and secured with clips rather than a headband, so they could blend nicely with your hair.” The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to actually look into it. If there were people who bought those cheap headbands, perhaps he should invest in production of a high quality alternative. 

Zen scowled at him for a long moment, then looked back down at the phone, muttering, “At least Saeran's got the right idea. He’s saying he refuses to accept a terrible gift like that.” 

Jumin shrugged and took his phone back, returning to the chat to tell Yoosung "[It's still early. He's probably asleep.]"

He was still a little annoyed with Yoosung for telling everyone in the RFA about him and Zen before they were ready to share it themselves, but Zen had convinced him to let it slide. Apparently the boy was feeling down after learning Rika still barely spoke after months in therapy. Jumin for his part didn't quite understand his disappointment. The letter had said she seemed happy. Wasn't that more important? Nothing good would come out of hoping for a miraculous recovery. 

"I'll return as soon as I can after work," he said, shifting his attention back to Zen, "If you start to feel lonely without the messenger, give me a call." 

"You're kinda overdoing things, you know," Zen told him.

"Is that bad?" Jumin asked. 

"It's nice to see you care that much about making sure I have a good birthday," Zen admitted, "I'm happy about it, I really am, but you don't need to go this far next time you want to do something for me, alright?" 

Jumin hadn't thought he'd gone too far, but perhaps isolating Zen from anyone who might try to prank him was a bit much. He honestly didn't know what was or wasn't appropriate in a relationship like this. He'd never been in one before. "I'll try to keep that in mind," he said, getting out of bed to head for the bathroom. He'd left his clothes there.

"Oh, and Jumin," Zen called after him 

"Yes?" 

"Never noticed before, but you have nice legs." 

Jumin laughed. 

"You too."


	10. Chapter 10

He’d gone back to sleep for a couple of hours after Jumin left for work. Normally he’d be antsy when he woke up - torn between wanting validation for his birthday and worrying about the unavoidable joke gifts and messages mixed in with the genuine ones, but he ultimately felt pretty relaxed as he went about his usual morning routines. Knowing he’d get to celebrate surrounded by friends that evening made it a lot easier to avoid obsessing over whether he’d get enough attention to consider this birthday a successful one or not. 

He didn’t really have time to start feeling lonely either. When he went outside to get the mail, three of Jumin’s bodyguards insisted on joining him to inspect each package and envelope in case any of it had been tampered with. It was awkward at first, to sit and wait for every piece of mail to be approved before he could look at it, but he was grateful for it when one of the bodyguards opened what turned out to be a glitter bomb, scattering rainbow-colored particles all over his suit. That broke the ice. The other two immediately became more talkative after sharing a laugh at their coworker’s new, sparkly appearance. They’d seemed like such stoic and intimidating guys, but Zen found they shared several things in common with him. In the end he had a good time discussing workout programs, martial arts and men’s fashion with them. He even managed to convince one of the older guys who’d worked for C&R longer to share a couple of funny anecdotes from Jumin’s teenage years. Apparently he’d been no less tenaciously stubborn back then. It didn't surprise him at all.

He was out having a smoke with one of the younger guys when Jumin’s car drove up in front of the apartment building. The bodyguard quickly dropped the cigarette to grind it out with his heel before standing at attention, his face stern. The change in attitude was so immediate Zen almost felt like he should straighten up too even if it was only Jumin arriving. 

The corporate heir got out of the passenger seat when Mr. Kim opened the door for him and stood there looking between Zen and the bodyguard for a moment, seeming more puzzled than annoyed. Maybe he wasn't used to seeing anyone treat them like fellow human beings. They'd need to have a talk sometime about how Jumin couldn't seem to separate the identity of his employees from their designated job title. 

“I thought you said you quit smoking,” Jumin was saying as he approached. 

“I did," Zen said, taking one last drag of his cigarette before putting it out, "but then I started again. Let's go inside.” 

He'd arranged the gifts and letters from his fans on the kitchen table with a vase holding the bouquet of roses from Jumin in the center. There was still some glitter scattered on the floor even if he'd already spent several minutes trying to vacuum it all up. 

"So, how are things in the chat?" He asked before Jumin could comment, "did Saeran send you any more updates?" 

"He did." 

Jumin took out his phone and located the latest messages from Saeran before handing it over to him. Wrinkling his nose at Saeyoung's poor impersonations of the other members of the RFA, Zen read the text on each screenshot in chronological order. 

Saeyoung-Jumin was still suggesting cat themed gifts, Saeyoung-Yoosung was saying he couldn't make it to his birthday because he had a virtual date in LOLOL with a girl going by the username C4tf1sh, and Saeyoung-Yaehee was blaming Zen's looks for the loss of Jumin's sanity. Saeran-Zen was agreeing with the latter, declaring that his immense beauty was bound to have that effect on anyone exposed to it over longer periods of time. 

"Is that really how I act in the chat?" Zen asked, pursing his lips doubtfully. 

"You're much worse," Jumin said, earning a light punch to the shoulder before he got his phone back. "I went ahead and informed Yoosung and Jaehee of the situation since your absence was making them anxious," he went on, "they'll be here in about 30 minutes." 

They sat down to have a beer while they waited, or rather it would be more accurate to say Zen had a beer while Jumin took a tentative sip of one and made a face similar to the time Saeyoung convinced him to try a can of Ph.D Pepper. 

Jaehee and Yoosung arrived together, both looking relieved when he opened the door to greet them. 

"We were so worried when you didn't come to the chat!" Yoosung exclaimed.

"I can't believe Mr. Han thought it was appropriate to block you from the messenger," Jaehee sighed, "although it seems we would still have been unable to reach you if Saeyoung's plan worked out." 

Just like in the dream from last night, she'd baked a cake with cream and strawberries for his birthday. It looked like something from a professional bakery display, but he didn't doubt she'd made it from scratch. She could do just about anything well if she set her mind to it, which Jumin frequently took advantage of by handing any unfamiliar task he encountered at work over to her. That was another thing he'd have to talk to him about. 

They were setting the table when the doorbell rang a second time. It had to be Saeran. Zen had been a little worried he wouldn't dare to show up. He rarely went anywhere without his brother pulling him along, but Saeyoung was still off on his honeymoon. At least that was what he thought until he opened the door to find the newlywed couple practically leaping at him, squeezing him between them in a hug. 

"Happy Birthday!" They cried in unison.

"I thought you guys weren't coming back until tomorrow," Zen said, too flustered to remember he was mad at Saeyoung about the duplicate messenger he'd been planning to trap him in. 

"We got back late last night," Saeyoung said, grinning as he pulled away, "you didn't really think we'd wanna miss your birthday, did you?" 

"Happy Birthday, Zen" came a quieter voice, and he noticed Saeran standing a little off to the side. He looked nervous. Perhaps he was expecting to be reprimanded for how rudely he'd taken over his account. 

"You had fun pretending to be me today?" Zen asked, though he kept his tone friendly to let him know he wasn't really that upset. He'd only been doing what Jumin had asked of him. 

Saeran merely shrugged, but he seemed to relax a little. 

"Can you believe this traitor?" Saeyoung asked, still grinning as he put an arm around his brother's shoulders, "beating me at my own game! I'd be crying right now if I wasn't so proud of him." 

"You might still cry when I'm done scolding you," Zen said, trying and failing to sound stern, "but I'll save that for later. Come on in." 

Saeyoung took his wife's hand, and the two of them cheerfully went on to greet the rest of the RFA. 

As he watched them, Zen waited for the usual pang of jealousy, but it never quite came. It felt good seeing them happy together, her smile brightening the room as she talked about their trip. 

\---

Zen was back to normal. Jumin felt relieved seeing him bask in the attention of the RFA as usual rather than acting withdrawn. Being quiet didn't suit him. 

He hadn't really planned to stay behind after the party, but Zen subtly held him back by the elbow as he moved to follow the others. Understanding that he wanted his discretion, he waited until everyone had left before he asked, "Not tired of me yet?" 

"There's just something I wanted to confirm with you," Zen said, letting go of his arm, "I know we can't really go on proper dates like a couple, but it's kinda nice to know where we stand. So, can I…" he trailed off, looking unsure for an instant before squaring his shoulders as if what he was about to say took tremendous effort, "can I consider you my boyfriend?" 

Jumin hadn't thought about putting a label on it, but he certainly wasn't against it. "Only if I can consider you mine," he replied, his heart giving a small flutter when that brought a smile to Zen's lips. He really was awfully cute at times. 

"I'll call you tonight," he told him, and because nobody was there to see them, he leaned over to kiss him.

\---

Zen had to fight the urge to pull Jumin close and deepen the kiss. He'd already improved a lot since the first time. He liked to think it was because he'd been learning from the best, but Jumin deserved some credit for being such an attentive student. He'd be as good of a kisser as he was in Zen's dream in no time. 

"Hey," he said once they parted, "whenever I've dated someone before I've liked to call them darling or babe or something similar, but I'm not sure if those really suit you. What do you think?" 

"How about Master?" Jumin suggested with a playful glint in his eyes. 

Zen knew he was only trying to be funny; that Jumin's sense of humor had always been this terrible, but he still couldn't keep his cool. Caught somewhere between anger and embarrassment, he gave him a decisive push towards the door. 

"Hell no. Get out of my apartment, you asshole."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This fic was going to be 11 chapters, but my progress with the last couple of scenes has been slow, so I decided to split the final chapter in two. Hope you enjoy the first part!

They'd been together for about five months when Zen began to panic. Last time he'd panicked over a relationship, it had been because he felt things were getting too serious. With Jumin it was the opposite. It wasn't getting serious enough. 

Hiding from the public eye didn't bother him. He had a tendency to get jealous whenever Jumin was rumored to have an affair with any of the women who tried to court him, and Jumin would often act possessive when Zen was paired with attractive women on stage, but they still trusted each other.

They'd been getting a lot closer to each other too. Things were going well in that regard. Jumin seemed to love doting on him, showering him with gifts and praise. He had a surprising amount of affection to give, as if he'd been saving it up for years without daring to share it until now. Someone else might be overwhelmed, but honestly Zen adored the excessive amount of attention. He was more than happy to soak it all up. 

Recently they were even sleeping together. That had been a little awkward at first. He'd discovered Jumin could be a bit odd about his preferences in bed, but he was a good lover. Very perceptive, very intense. 

There was just the one thing missing. Every time Zen stayed the night at the penthouse, he'd wake up with his heart thumping, just waiting for Jumin to get up, get dressed, and then finally, finally kiss him and tell him he loved him just like in the premonition. Except he still hadn't said it. He'd say "thanks for last night," or "I'll call you," or "Sorry, I'm late for work." None of those should feel like a let down, but they did. They weren't the words he was waiting to hear. 

It wasn't impatience getting to him as much as it was the fear he'd done something to alter the premonition. What if he wasn't there at the right time? When he'd first dreamt about it he'd wanted to avoid it at all costs, and now he couldn't stop thinking about how afraid he was he'd miss it. 

He wanted to talk about it, but he couldn't make himself bring it up with Jumin directly. He didn't want the confession to feel forced. In the end the only person he could think of talking to was the one he could trust to take his psychic dreams seriously. Yoosung had believed in his ability ever since the dream about Rika being prosecuted if they didn't send her away. 

"So in the dream Jumin kisses me and says he loves me," he was telling him over the phone one morning while getting ready to head to the theatre. It used to be difficult for him to speak openly to anyone in the RFA about being intimate with Jumin, but at some point he'd started to find it brag-worthy. Nobody else in the world could say they'd swept Jumin Han off his feet. Clearly his charms were on a whole other level from the countless rich and famous people who had attempted to conquer the corporate heir's heart. 

"Whaaat that's so romantic," Yoosung gushed. Despite his initial horror upon catching them together, he seemed entirely comfortable with the topic now as well. 

"But the requirements for the dream have been met several times now," Zen said, putting him on speaker so he could place his phone on the bathroom counter while he tied his hair back, "and he didn't say it yet. What if I messed up somewhere?"

"What are the requirements?" Yoosung asked.

"Uh, well," Zen said, leaning close to the mirror as he began applying a moisturizing foundation cream to his face, "I'm in his bed in the morning while he's getting ready for wo- Yoosung why are you screaming!?" 

"His bed!?" Yoosung screeched, "You're saying you guys are doing that!?"

Zen's heart sank a little at the reaction. Clearly he wasn't as comfortable as he'd thought. "Well… yeah," he mumbled, reaching for a makeup sponge to blend out the foundation. 

"Zen! You're not married!" Yoosung cried.

"That's what the problem is?" Zen asked, somewhere between relief and disbelief. 

"I can't believe you let Jumin rob you of your innocence!" Yoosung went on, sounding entirely serious. 

Zen couldn't help but snort loudly. The RFA pretty much all saw Yoosung as their little brother, but he hadn't thought he was this naive. Did he seriously think he'd been a virgin until now? 

"Dude, I'd already done it with several girls before that."

"Oh my god!"

It took several minutes before Yoosung calmed down enough to give him anything constructive. Zen was almost considering hanging up by the time he finally got a proper suggestion out of him. 

"If you want him to say it, how about you try to say you love him first?" 

Zen pursed his lips and considered it for a moment, then dismissed it as his nerves began going haywire. "No way," he hissed, taking his phone with him as he exited the bathroom, "What if he doesn't say it back?"

"Well…" Yoosung said, "maybe that's what he's thinking too. Maybe he's worried you won't say it back."

He hadn't thought about that. It made sense. Jumin was very reluctant to speak about his insecurities, but Zen had spent enough time with him by now to know he had them. He was wary of opening up to people in case they might reject what they saw in him if he did, and Zen couldn't blame him. He was afraid of rejection too despite having a premonition to lean on which assured him he would be loved. Jumin didn't have that. Of course he'd be afraid to say it.

"I think that might be it," he said, "thanks, Yoosung." 

He hung up, not willing to hear him go off on another tangent about how wrong it was to have sex before marriage. Who even cared about that anymore? Yoosung was seriously too innocent for his own good. 

He'd had a point though. If Jumin wasn't confident Zen felt the same way about him, he was going to have to do a better job at showing him, and he'd had to show it in a way he would understand. 

\---

Elizabeth the 3rd tilted her head and purred appreciatively as Jumin scratched behind one of her elegant ears. 

He'd returned to the penthouse apartment during lunch to spend time with her. Zen had been staying the night much more frequently lately, and as much as he enjoyed sharing a bed with him, it meant he got to see Elizabeth the 3rd even less than usual. He'd be lying if he claimed he didn't feel guilty about that. For a long time, she'd been his only close companion, and he didn't wish to take that for granted even if he had a second companion in his life now. 

She was rolling over to bat playfully at his hand when his phone began ringing. Was it Assistant Kang calling to say he was needed at the office? He checked the display, his mood brightening when he realized it was Zen. 

"Hello, Beautiful," he greeted.

"Morning, Handsome," Zen replied in a sing-song voice. The way he spoke to him had changed a lot since they became lovers. It was rather endearing. 

"It's already noon," Jumin pointed out, petting Elizabeth the 3rd's fluffy stomach. 

"Close enough. When do you get off work?"

"Around six if everything goes according to schedule."

"I'll be at rehearsal until eight. Mind if I come over then?" 

Jumin was about to say he'd have to arrange for someone to look after Elizabeth the 3rd, but Zen continued speaking.

"You don't need to send the cat away." 

"Are you sure?" Jumin asked, "What about your allergies?" 

"I'm trying some tablets for it," Zen said, sounding a little embarrassed, "I think I'll be fine as long as I keep some distance. You better not laugh if my face gets all puffy though" 

Jumin smiled. "I won't laugh. Thank you for thinking of her." 

"I mean it's mostly for your sake," Zen mumbled, before the cheer returned to his voice, "See you tonight then."

"I look forward to it." 

\---

It was almost nine when Zen made it to the C&R building. He always felt a little self-conscious making his way past security. Jumin must have instructed them to always let him through, because they never asked about his business there or demanded any form of identification, but some of the guards had to be starting to wonder why he came to see Jumin so often. That evening he felt more conspicuous than usual, carrying a bouquet of white and purple flowers. 

It had occurred to him while he thought about how to make his feelings clear. Jumin had given him flowers a few times, but he'd never given any in return. Sure, he used to think it would be a little odd to buy flowers for a guy, even when said guy was his boyfriend, but he'd felt happy each time he'd received them, so there was no reason to think Jumin wouldn't also appreciate it. 

Exiting the elevator on the top floor, he held up his phone and checked himself out using the front facing camera like a mirror. He looked a little tired, but it didn't take away from his good looks too much. Reassured, he pocketed his phone and rang the buzzer.

Jumin opened the door for him a moment later. His expression was one Zen might have called emotionless a few months ago, but he'd begun to learn how to read him better. Though he wasn't smiling, there was a tender look in his eyes which was enough to let him know he was glad to see him. 

"These are, um," Zen mumbled, feeling flustered as he held the bouquet out to him, "I got these for you."

Jumin took it, studying the flowers for several long seconds without saying anything. Zen began to worry it would have been better if he simply bought roses instead. Something with a clear message. 

"I like them," Jumin finally said, pulling him closer, "thank you" 

They kissed, and for an instance Zen couldn't be happier. Then something brushed against his leg, and he let out an unmanly yelp as he looked down to see the hairball. He'd almost forgotten she'd be there even though he'd swallowed the allergy pills before leaving work. 

"You don't need to look so frightened," Jumin said, "she's showing she approves of you." 

"Really?" Zen asked doubtfully, "Just like that?" 

"Just like that. Elizabeth the 3rd is good at reading people." 

He was still nervous about having a cat in the room, but the idea of her accepting him somehow made him feel validated, especially since Jumin had told him she was picky about who she approached. Was this why people liked cats? Because being singled out by a creature with high standards gave their ego a boost? 

"Zen," Jumin said, his eyes practically glowing with determination, "Since you're both here, I want to take a photo of you two together." 

Zen sighed. He should have known this was coming. "No," he said, continuing with a grin before Jumin had time to interrupt, "you're terrible at taking pictures. I'll take a selfie with her for you."


	12. Chapter 12

He'd thought taking a selfie with Elizabeth would be an easy way to show Jumin he cared enough to make sacrifices for him, but he hadn't considered how close he'd actually have to get to the furball to pull it off. He didn't want to hold her or lie down on the floor, so Jumin had to compromise by using treats to lure her into climbing up on one of the top platforms of the cat tower. At first she would immediately leap back down after eating the treat, but eventually she settled on the platform long enough for Zen to get a picture with her. She rubbed her head against his cheek before he had time to withdraw, and he jumped back in surprise. Weren't cats supposed to be aloof? He supposed he couldn't blame her for being affectionate towards someone as good-looking as he was, but unfortunately the effect it had on his face was devastating. His eyes were already getting itchy, and his nose was starting to run. 

"Let's get you some fresh air," Jumin said, keeping his promise not to laugh at the puffiness of his face as he pulled him along to the balcony. 

"Thanks," Zen sniffled, "I guess there's really no miracle cure for cat allergy." 

"There are different forms of treatment you could try," Jumin said, "I'll cover the expenses."

Zen's initial instinct was to say no, but he made himself swallow his pride. If he really wanted things to be more serious between them he would have to start compromising, "Normally I'd react just to being in the same room, so it's not like it didn't work at all," he mumbled, "but I'm willing to try looking for more effective alternatives. To be honest, I'm actually jealous of her sometimes. I want you all to myself. But I know she means a lot to you, and I don't want you to have to send her away every time I'm here." 

Jumin was pulling him closer, and Zen tilted his head away when he realized he was going in for a kiss, "Don't. I'm all gross right now."

"I don't mind," Jumin insisted, taking hold of his chin to turn his face back towards him, pressing a brief, but tender kiss to his lips.

God. As if he wasn't out of breath enough already. "Jumin," he found himself mumbling, "can I stay the night?" 

He had to put a hand over Jumin's mouth to keep him from going in for another kiss before he could finish talking, "Not like, to mess around," he clarified, "I just want to sleep close to you. I'm not saying the sex isn't good or anything, but lately I've been pushing for it even when we're both tired, haven't I? So let's just sleep this time." 

Jumin stared at him for a moment, then took hold of his hand, but rather than pulling it away he pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles like some kind of fairytale prince. It was an unbelievably cheesy move, but still it made Zen's heart flutter, his face reddening from more than just his allergies. 

"You have displayed quite the appetite as of late," Jumin told him, "but you did not push me. It's been enjoyable even at times when I'm otherwise exhausted. Still, I'm happy to merely have you beside me. It's said that sleeping next to someone is an excellent way to bond." 

"Uh...right." was all Zen managed to say, his brain short-circuiting as Jumin tilted his head to kiss his wrist. Why did he always have to make him feel so flustered? Pulling his hand back, he self-consciously rubbed the bridge of his nose, "I hope you've still been keeping the cat out of the bedroom. I'm gonna be like this all night otherwise." 

"Everything in there is perfectly clean," Jumin assured him, "though she isn't happy about it. She's been scratching at the door so often it's starting to leave marks." 

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's worth the trouble." 

\---

He'd never thought of himself as the type of person who might like to be the little spoon, however as Zen huddled up behind him under the covers, Jumin was glad to be held. He'd always had a protective personality, but, occasionally it was nice to feel like he was the one being protected. 

He still couldn't say Zen completely understood him, but he could tell he was trying, and that was good enough. There'd been a time when he'd desperately wished for someone who could understand his trauma without him having to speak of it. Someone who could look at him and seem to just know, like Rika had known. Except he'd learned that such an ability was dangerous. She hadn't seen his pain alone, but the pain of everyone around her, and in the end it had overwhelmed her and left her broken. 

It'd been hard to accept that there was no shortcut to mutual understanding; that there was little he and Zen could do about each other's troubles without daring to speak of them out loud, but gradually the prospect of opening up was becoming less daunting to Jumin. While not yet ready to share everything, he'd reached a point where he could allow himself to be a little vulnerable and let Zen comfort him. He didn't need to always be the one in charge anymore. 

"Stop looking at your phone," Zen grumbled, breath warm against his nape, "go to sleep." 

Jumin smiled, taking one more look at the home screen where he'd set the picture of Zen and Elizabeth the 3rd as the background, before he turned the display off. "It's a really nice photo," he said, shutting his eyes. 

"Of course it is," Zen murmured sleepily, "My face is in it."

\---

The first thing Zen thought about that morning wasn't the dream. He woke up lying on his back with Jumin cuddled up against his side, warm and comfortable. Smiling, he ran his fingers through his tousled hair, toying with the spiked ends. He didn't know what time it was, but he hoped it was still too early for the alarm to go off, so they could stay like this for a while. 

It was nice to see Jumin deeply asleep, especially because he knew he rarely got enough rest despite claiming he only needed a few hours each night to make it through the day. The dark circles under his eyes whenever he returned from work in the evening suggested otherwise. 

Unfortunately, his peaceful slumber wasn't meant to last. The buzz of the alarm wasn't loud. Zen had slept through it a few times, but Jumin stirred immediately and sat up in bed before reaching for his phone to silence it. He was frowning deeply, and Zen had to stifle a laugh at how grouchy he looked. "Stay in bed a little longer," he purred at him, rolling onto his side to hook an arm around his waist. 

"I can't," Jumin sighed, "I need to shower." 

"Want me to shower with you?" Zen asked, grinning when that brought a hint of color to his cheeks.

"Yes," Jumin admitted, "but you shouldn't. I'll get distracted and be late for work. Stay here." 

Zen pursed his lips, pouting as he let go of him. He worried sometimes about being too clingy, but Jumin seemed to like it. He already looked to be in a much better mood as he got out of bed to head for the bathroom. 

Propping his pillow up against the headboard, Zen checked his phone. There was nobody in the chatroom when he entered, but there was a conversation he'd missed from last night. Jumin had shared the picture of him with the cat, saying it was his favorite photo because everything most precious to him was in it. He even went on to talk about the flowers he'd received and how fortunate he was that Zen would show such dedication to him. It still felt a little odd to see him act mushy in the chat that way, but it still made Zen's heart swell with affection for him. The only thing better than having a lover to brag about was having one who bragged about him in return. 

He'd just caught up when he saw Jaehee enter the chat. 

"[Good morning, Zen]" she wrote, "[Are you doing alright? Mr.Han isn't forcing you to be around Elizabeth the 3rd, is he?]" 

Things had been awkward between them for a while after she first found out about him and Jumin. Zen had eventually ended up calling her to talk about it, and she'd admitted it wasn't just their reputation she was worried about. She feared Jumin wouldn't treat him well; that he would be too controlling. 

He could understand why. Jumin had a very dominant personality. At first Zen took it to be caused by selfish entitlement. Then he'd started to see a pattern. The more insecure Jumin felt in any given situation, the more authority he'd demand. It was a defense mechanism. Not a healthy one, certainly, but knowing the true nature of it allowed Zen to keep it from escalating. Sometimes all Jumin needed was a few stern words of reason followed by gentle reassurance, and he'd be meek as a lamb in his arms. Of course he hadn't actually told Jaehee that. He'd simply asked her to trust that he could handle him. 

"[Don't worry]" he assured her, "[I was the one who suggested he let the cat stay. I'm looking into allergy treatments"]

"[That's a relief.]" Jaehee wrote, "[I hope it works out.]"

Yoosung popped into the chat a moment later, complaining about having to get up to make it to class. He did this just about every morning, but it didn't really bother anyone as it was good to know he hadn't gone back to skipping. 

Zen spent a while chatting with them, only glancing up briefly when Jumin returned from the bathroom in a pinstriped shirt and tailored dress pants. It wasn’t until he checked the time on his phone and thought about how he still had a couple of hours left before he had to get ready for rehearsal when the feeling of Déjà vu hit him like a ton of bricks. His heart began racing in anticipation, and he looked back up just in time to see Jumin turn away from the mirror to approach the bed. It took every last bit of willpower he possessed to sit still as Jumin leaned down to kiss him, soft, sweet, and reassuring, lingering just long enough to communicate a desire for more. 

“Zen,” Jumin murmured in that deep voice which always seemed to send shudders down his spine.

Zen felt a smile tugging at the corner of his lip as Jumin caressed it with his thumb. He knew exactly what he was about to say, and he could barely wait to say it back to him, but he still had to ask, “what?”

“I love you.”

“Fucking Finally,” Zen blurted, unable to keep from laughing when Jumin gave him a look of utter confusion, “Never mind, never mind. I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to try swapping between POVs in this one. Hopefully I’m able to capture the inner voice of both characters somewhat accurately. 
> 
> I'll probably be adding at least a couple artworks to this fic, so stay tuned!


End file.
